Pre-Race Poop

During my first year of practicing endurance sport in 2007 I was enlightened to the importance of the pre-race dropping of a deuce. It is often said that success on race day starts with success in the bathroom. In the past, before going into battle, warriors would consult an oracle. Now days endurance cycling and running warriors consult the porcelain gods.

Pinching a loaf is one of the best and cheapest methods of cutting a bit more excess weight before the race. Shaving a few grams off your bike costs hundreds of dollars in lighter material, but 5 minutes on the throne is free.

Good strategies for the best possible race morning dropping of a stink pickle are to eat light the evening before the race and not after 8pm. This will guarantee that all packages are on the vehicle and ready for delivery by morning. Of course make sure you have properly fueled and recovered before an event, but skip the oh so popular pre race pasta extravaganza. It's too late to carb up at that point and it's just going to weigh you down the next morning. I like to wake at least two hours before the race to give things adequate time to develop.

Whether or not  I am successful at dropping the Cosby kids off at the swimming pool before a race is generally a fairly good indicator of how I am going to feel during the race. If the Cosby kids are ready and waiting to get swimming, the race is already off to a good start. If the kids are being stubborn, you may have issues later on.

If by luck, nature, or diving intervention you have the perfect dump, consider it a rare thing. You know what I'm talking about. You sit down and get a smooth sliding, fart free beauty that breaks the water with the grace of an Olympic diver. You wipe with some toilet paper but find it was completely unnecessary. You know you're in for a good day.

However if you give birth to a newborn 9.3 pound son who's name is Barron von Terdmeister, well good luck, you're going to need it.

Even worse, if the Browns are reluctant to go to the Super Bowl, I have a strategy for you. The trick is to relax your entire body and think about the race. Anxiety is your ally right now. Think about the race start, with everyone standing, jumping, or nervously fidgeting around. Sort of like when you come to a red light while running. You never really know what to do and there's people in cars staring at you. It kind of brings on a nervous feeling, but I find this to be the most effective way to mail a letter. If you are already nervous I'm sure brewing a pot of shi tea will be pretty easy.

There's nothing worse then having a turtle play peak a boo and sneak it's head out during a race. If this happens get to the side of the road and set it free. The only time when it is unacceptable to stop and poop is if you are a) going for the win or b) in contention for a qualification to Kona or the Olympic Trials and your time is going to be close. Boston is not important enough.

Brookings Marathon 2011 Race Report

Failure is only the opportunity to begin again, only (next) time more wisely.

Henry Ford

I usually like to have more photos. I know when I read a RR without any photos it isn't quite the same. Desi was busy doing a wonderful job cheering me on, and she has yet to perfect her photography skills at races yet. No worries though, she has years of practice ahead of her. She more then makes up for it with her race crewing and cheering abilities though :)

Last year I ran this after doing a warm up of 26.2 miles. You can read about that experience HERE. 

Cliff Notes:
26.2 miles
3:19:34
15th over all / 188 finishers
7:38 pace


Pre Race


The weather was about 40 or 41 degrees with a slight wind and cloud cover. I do not believe I felt rain at all during the event. Aside from being cold maybe 3 or 4 times when turning into the wind the conditions were about as good as you can get for a race.

The Race

Everyone started off at Pioneer Park and ran through down town. Not even a quarter mile into it I heard a guy joking about putting out a fast pace and "seeing what happens". I do not remember exactly my splits and do not have my Garmin with me, but I believe I did the first 10k at a 6:40 mile pace, which was 12 seconds per mile faster then I wanted to do the entire race.

Sometime after the halfway point I found out the lead runner in the marathon took the half marathon turn off because he was not feeling too well. The same guy who was joking about pushing the pace at the beginning.

At the half way point I was only 2 minutes slower then my half marathon PR of 1:26 and about 2 minutes faster then I should have been. Which means I was even losing time over my 10k pace at 13.1 miles...

I felt so good that I ran the first 3, 6, and 10 miles much faster then I had planned. This caused me to significantly slow down for the last 10 miles. I ran most of the race by feeling and my gut instead of checking my mile splits. You always feel amazing during a race. Well, the first half at least.

Somewhere around mile 15 I glanced at my pace and saw I was doing about 1:30 per mile slower then I should have been! My perceived exertion was exactly the same as at mile 5 but I had apparently slowed down. I tried to pick up my speed but simply could not get my legs to turn over any faster.

Over the next 10 miles I did consider dropping out so I would better recover for either the Minneapolis, Deadwood, or Swan Lake marathon in the next 2 or 3 weeks. However I felt fine, so decided to continue on.

I'm not sure if I have ever really "hit the wall" and do not think I did at this marathon. I was in a great mood, nothing hurt, I felt pretty good, never got bored or really wanted to lie down and die, I just could not run any faster. It was very odd. Maybe I am just not used to sprinting for 26.2 miles. Maybe I just need to learn to HTFU. Maybe I should have included more specific long runs.

So I honestly consider this race a disaster for myself. I was shooting for a 2:59:59 and my predictor races all said I could do it. It was my own foolishness that did it and I accept it as a learning experience, which all things are in life. I failed at the Lean Horse 100 mile, but took more out of it then I believe I would have, had I finished. And I promise you now, I will not make the same mistake I made at the Brookings Marathon again.

I would like to express my gratitude to all the of the 400 or so volunteers who helped out with the event. I tried to thank all of the aid stations and corner people whenever I came upon them, but probably missed a couple!

Also thank you to Vibram, and specifically Jon Gaffney for helping out with shoes.

So, what's next.....Well I have been off and on about doing another marathon in the next two or three weeks. It's a nice first marathon race time, however I just hate having a 3:19 on my shoulders when I know I am capable of so much more. However I believe doing so would be detrimental to my A race, the Howl At the Moon 8 Hour ultra marathon in August. I would like to get a month long taper in following a month of heavy running. Doing any marathon right now would require two weeks of recovery that would damper this plan. The Sioux Falls Marathon is four weeks after the 8 hour, so maybe I will sign up for that.

As for recovery. Aside from going out too fast I was also stupid in racing in Vibram Fivefinger Classics with a hole in the right big toe. They do have 999 miles in them. Other then the speedwork over 26.2 miles they are fine for running in still. But by the end of the race they were blood stained and a significant amount of road rash had formed at that location. 3 days after the race my legs were feeling well. I have done a few short runs and they feel slightly more fatigued after the run, but during an easy run they are ok. The bottoms of my feet took about two days more to feel normal. Now a week later, other then that one spot on my toe where there was a hole, my legs feel pretty darn good.

How any runner can become faster, regardless of fitness level

Here's a secret I was hinted to at my first ultra marathon. This secret will make any runner do a race faster then he or she normally would have done, regardless of how fast they are running, their age, fitness level, etc.

It's to simply take the corners and turns sharp.

It seems like common sense but I never consciously thought about it before. A man from Norway and myself were taking a long dull turn on a gravel road during the Lean Horse Ultramarathon and he went around behind me to my other side, against the side of the road. He then commented, "I came here to run 100 miles, not 101 miles."

Now, the difference is slight, but even during a 5k if you take the corner on the inside compared to taking it with three people between you and the turn, times 3 or 8 turns, it will make a difference.

Garmin 305 Smart Recording VS Every Second

This is also related to why a Garmin 305 GPS watch will often not be the same distance as a race course. Especially in larger marathons where you may spend a lot of time zig zagging around other runners. If you take location recorders every second you will get a much more accurate record, so the path will be longer since you had to go around a group of runners. However I use the Smart Recording. It will record data for a much longer period of time and will may give you a much better idea of the distance. The one catch is if you cut corners it may shorter the corner a bit since it does not record as often as each second. So if you are going for a longer run or maybe a run where you will be going around a lot of people, switch your Garmin to Smart Recording and if you are running for less then 3.5 hours switch to every second.